Right Application\', De

Right Application', Dear ________, I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition. Check those that apply.. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion. ___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter! ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself. ___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands! ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable. ___The phrase "My
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